Money Spender

A few years ago, a pastor's wife told me that their kids wear donated clothes most of the time. It's not that they can't afford new stuff. They can. The pastor gets paid very well. The reason they do this is because they don't want the congregation to think that they are materialistic. A few years before this, I overheard a group of people talking about a pastor who had a very nice car. They were talking about him in a condescending manner. "How does a pastor justify buying such an expensive car?" It is as if, pastors are required to live a "lesser luxurious" life than the congregation. Interesting.

For a long time, I was impartial to this matter, until someone made a similar comment to me the other day.

As most of you know, I raise my own support. I asked people to support me in my lifestyle, which includes school, rent, gas, etc... but also a little spending money. What most don't know is that the monetary support I receive is barely enough to get me through the month. I don't even have enough money to put any money into my savings. In most months, I end up tapping into my savings because of unforeseen expenses. I don't live a luxurious life, and I don't waste money on things I don't need. I am also a faithful tither, and I even support missionaries (I'm not saying this to boast. I'm just building a case).

I mentioned to my friend that I was considering using my tax refund to buy a new computer or a camera. Here's a little background that: My MacBook Pro is nearing its 4th birthday, and its literally falling apart. I use my laptop for ministry and school. I need a pro because I make countless videos, do presentations for worship services and retreat events, and research sermons and school work. I need a new camera because my previous camera is 15 years old (which was donated to me). I use my camera for ministry reasons too. I only use it for ministry, and it is falling apart because of my ministry. I have asked many churches (and our conference) to purchase their own, but at the end of the day, it doesn't seem to be a priority to them. I've done this for so long, that I feel that most people rely on me to have these equipments.

When I said that I need a new laptop and camera, this person made a quick comment, "Don't say you're poor, because you're buying expensive things."

That struck a nerve with me.

I'm sure it was a quick comment that wasn't meant to offend. But I felt the sense of guilt. Am I not allowed to buy expensive things? If I'm in ministry, am I expected to use my beat up computer? Should I feel bad for having "nice stuff"?

But then, another set of questions began to arise: What does this person know about how I spend money? How can this person assume I'm not being a good steward of my money? Do I really need to justify my expenses with the people who support me? Are there unhealthy expectations for ministers that need to be changed?

I talked about this with Val, and she said I should go and buy what I need. She told me that I can't let other people's opinions dictate what I buy, especially when it is necessary for my ministry.

Three years ago, I bought a projector (with my tax refund, of course). Every retreat I went to, we had a hard time finding a church that will lend us their projector. So I got one. A lot of people complained that I wasn't spending my money responsibly. But I didn't buy it for me. I bought it for us, the body of Christ. I have never used that projector for personal use. Today, that projector is falling apart... but I'm glad it was able to assist in making many retreats, conferences, weddings, and funerals a success.

It's weird how some people judge me on the expensive gadgets I have, but when I'm using it for their ministry, they stop complaining. Ugh.