Friday, April 2, 2010

Things Pastors Should Never Say


I recently came across a hilarious book called, "Stuff Christians Like." I don't own a copy of this book, but got a chance to skim through it. It is going to be released for sale this month, and my friend had an early copy through some promotion. One of the chapters caught my attention, since it's something I was passionate about.

Things Pastors Should Never Say

Before I give you the list, let me just say that I haven't given much thought as to whether I agree with these points. In the book, each of the following points had some quick reasons as to why pastors should not say the following things. I don't remember exactly what it said, so I'm going to write what I remember.

1. "Good to see you this Christmas. See you next Easter!"
Shame is perhaps one of the worst motivators ever. Don't ever say this, even if it is true. Sure, there might be some people that are coming for Christmas and won't be back until the next religious holiday but I promise, making fun of them isn't going to get them to come back .

2. "We never talk about money, but today..."
This line is usually used by pastors for visitors or people who haven't been at church long enough to know that the pastor rarely talks about money. I understand that it is important for the pastor to let them know that they're not in it for the money. But when you start a sermon this way, it feels like you're apologizing for doing something bad. And you're not. Of the top three topics Jesus taught, money was definitely one of them (and the other two are prophecies and kingdom principles). It's okay to ask for people to honor their commitment to tithing.

3. "I want to talk a little today about why I own a diamond encrusted Rolls Royce."
My hope is that all pastors will never have to do the "justification sermon," regardless of the topic (money, sleeping around, drugs, etc.). Pastors, avoid this by having a support network in your life taht will kick your butt long before you get here. Please.

4. Any form of rap.
Pastors should never, ever, ever, never, ever, ever, really never rap. Unless you're MC Hammer (did you know he's a pastor now?).

So, here are four things I was able to retain in my small brain regarding things I hope I never have to hear a pastor say. There's more, but I can't remember them. Do you agree or disagree with them? Have you ever heard anything you wished your pastor didn't say?

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